Headline Hunters II: Today’s News

I am a bad leader…I will not quit politics even though things haven’t been easy for me: Govinda [Whoever quits politics! Govinda is certainly not a bad actor, nor for that matter a bad politico: see how well he learned the tricks of the trade!]

One striking feature of Mrs. Sonia Gandhi is that unlike most Indian politicians, she speaks little and does not give false hopes. She is precise, she does not comment unless it is necessary: Pranab Mukherjee [Pranabda could learn a lesson from Mrs.G, so also Govinda; did I hear someone say sometime back something like “maut ka saudagar”???]

I would request politicians to be honest: Shah Rukh Khan [I never knew that leopards would change spots on request!]

Nepal fumes as Prime Minister promotes daughter [Come on guys, grow up, learn from the brother next door!]

India should not become America’s younger brother: Buddhadeb Battacharjee [But, please do send the Dollars, Bush-ji!]

Ministers resisting our recommendations: National Knowledge Commission [Let us set up another Commission to find out why the Ministers are resisting knowledge!]

Nothing less than ST status will do: Akhil Bharatiya Gujjar Sangharsh Samiti [Aren’t we a status conscious people!]

Selectors invest in youth, no place for veterans [Gerontocracy works only in politics, it seems: and probably for cricket administrators!]

Gujarati voter registration forms to be introduced in New Jersey: [Modi-fication in the US???]

Long stay in hospital doesn’t mean injury is serious: Delhi High Court [The shorter the stay, the grave-r the injury…]

It took Sarkozy 35,000 Euro make-up to become French President (and his rival Segolene Royal spent about 52,000 Euros) [Never knew that elections are won on make-ups – or for that matter the French Presidency came so cheap!]

For Carla Bruni, Sarkozy is like Napoleon Bonaparte [There shouldn’t be any Waterloo, though!]

I never doubted Bill’s love for me: Hillary Clinton [More so, with the presidential elections round the corner!]

Sweetest Revenge: Indian newspapers on Aussie loss [Let it not turn sour, please!]

Sections of Aussie media blame the defeat on BCCI’s financial clout and ICC's    weak-kneed administrators [I thought the pitch was Perth and the players `the invincible Aussies’: never knew Pawarji could fix even the Aussies!]

Aamir Khan got henna done on his face [Thank you, uncle…due apologies to SRK!]

Preity goes back to the school [That will do a lot of good – to check the drop-out rates!]

I am one of a kind. I have started the year by forgiving people: Rakhi Sawant [Amen to that! But please don’t forget the New Year resolution this month itself…]

I can reveal that being a professional tennis player isn’t half as glamorous as it may seem: Anna Kournikova [More so when one doesn’t win any tournament!]

Most women would divorce if they could afford it, says British survey [Could anyone tell me what this is supposed to mean???]

Contrary to popular belief, most guys do want to get married – eventually! [Read the British survey first, mates!]

Plastics linked to male genital defects [See where research and surveys are leading us to!]

Mind-reading cars may curb accidents [But they do not know of the mindless guys and gals at the wheel!]

There are very strong contextual differences between dogs’ barks. But work is needed to determine which emotional states and characteristics belong to which breed: Hungarian scientists [woof, woof!]

It’s The Year of The Earth Rat, according to the Chinese Zodiac [Every Rat has its Year! Be wary of the rats, after all it is their year!]

A solution for loneliness – treat your pet as human [And what about the human, please?]

Clowns see red, say kids don’t find them scary [Why only clowns, every adult sees red these days!]

Virgin’s mobile plan in a month: Richard Branson [Branson should change his surname to Brandson – and what a name, man, to his company!]

Actress Katherine Heigel has `confessed’ that her sex life has got `ten times better’ since getting married! [No comments!!! J]